I went on a mini pilgrimage trek to Machu Picchu last month. I planned this trip back in August but it couldn't have happened at a better time. The Inca Trail afforded me four days without electronics to self-reflect and go back to my roots.
Since the move, I have been too focused on my shiny new town. I spent every moment at work trying not to drown, and every spare time uncovering what this city has to offer. There have been so many options that I have been paralyzed into indecision. I want to do everything - and I still do.
Sadly, it is time to give up blogging for the sake of blogging.
I have struggled to maintain regular content on the blog that I've started following the herd. I did a seasonal capsule post because that seems to be what every minimalist blogger does to gain momentum - but I honestly do not care about fashion. This was confirmed when I had to buy new clothes to replace the old ones and ended up buying replicas. I went the healthy route but now that I'm living in a city where I want to spend every free moment outside, food no longer became a focus. I have been eating the same thing for weeks without boredom because I now only crave nutrients to fuel my days. I started doing lists that might benefit my readers but that has turned into a chore because I know my heart is not in it.
The truth is I've reached a very fulfilling part of my life. No, my life isn't happy at all moments - but I'm happy where I am.
There have been so many great weekends here in San Francisco. We've discovered many gorgeous beaches, hikes, neighborhoods, etc. Each time, I felt this overwhelming need to "take photos for the blog" or "think up topics for the blog" that I lost my passion for photography and writing.
I like writing personal essays that capture the emotion and story of the chosen moment, not why I paired my black pants with my chambray top - because honestly, there are enough blogs that write things like this. I like taking real photos to document the moment, emotion, action, and/or time, not use props and create a fake scene for the sake of posting something "beautiful". While I am good at adapting to the needs of others, I am terrible at lying to myself.
With this, I'm shutting down the blog. I'm taking my own minimalist advice to only do things that fulfill me.
I will still take photographs - to document, not to post a fake scene on social media. I will still write - to capture my emotions, or others', not vapid content that repeats itself.
Maybe I will start a new website. Maybe I won't. In the meantime, I will do mini blogging/documenting on Instagram @hilli.ta