The Toughest Lesson in Personal Development

I have had a lot of people come to me and compliment my personality. It’s rather odd to hear. I’m always striving to be a better person. I don’t like stagnancy and try to question my own opinions on each topic. Because of this, I always end up being the big sister/advice giver. People say I am able to translate their emotion into complete sentences and ask me how I do it.

So I’m going to teach you the most important and most difficult lesson in being a better person:

Be brutally honest with yourself.

I don’t mean telling yourself ‘you are fat’ in order to jumpstart a new regimen. If you are unhappy with your weight, ask yourself why. Don’t be biased. You might say things like ‘my mom always told me I’m fat’ or ‘my jean size is considered plus sized’. So what if your mom told you you’re fat? So what if your size is considered plus-sized? Do YOU think you are? Why do you feel you are? Being able to answer this will help you get to the bigger problem – what YOU think of yourself.

When I consider myself fat, I know exactly why. Because I have been eating everything I want and stopped exercising. I consider myself fat because I know I have adopted lazy habits. When I’m the same exact size while eating right and exercising, I think I’m hot shit. If you have weight insecurities, be honest with yourself. Instead of looking for excuses and mantras to accept your bad habits, look inside and ask yourself if you are actually taking care of yourself. Yes, genetics play a big role in how, why, and where you carry weight. But eating habits are not caused by genetics. Habits are formed.

Oftentimes, I like to sit and ask myself why I think a certain way. I try to see the other person’s point of view. For example, I am turned off by stick thin women and bikini competition bodies. I kept wondering why I dislike them so much. For some people, being stick thin is their normal. For other people, fitness is their hobby and they work very hard to be the way they are. I finally figured out that the reason I dislike both is because I don’t have either. I’m not naturally thin so seeing bony women is odd to me. I have never felt the need to lift every free minute so seeing someone that passionate is also odd to me. That is how our brains work. We see something we don’t understand so we try to put them in a box. Doing so helps us process the information and move on.

I think being able to recognize that our brains do this automatically halts the judgment process, and increase self-awareness.

The more self-aware you are, the more tolerant, understanding, and patient you become.

So that’s your homework. Find an opinion that you are passionate about, and question yourself.

Sincerely, Tania